Five Things I Think I Think About the Miami Dolphins – Week 6

insensate (adj) – lacking animate awareness or sensation

Miami is painful to watch.

I wish I had a good joke or fun angle here.

I do not.

So how about we hunt for something redeeming? It’ll be like going after a snipe.

Defense is anchoring the team

Through the first half of the game, the Colts’ drives were as follows:

3 and out
3 and out
Fumble
3 and out
5 plays and a punt
3 plays for 36 yards and a 52 yard field goal

That certainly feels like a recipe for success.

Unless, of course, you are the current version of the Dolphins’ offense, dead last in the league in average points scored.

Tyler Huntley did his level best. He was 7/13 for 87 yds, 1 TD, 0 INTs before leaving with a shoulder injury. Not exactly world beating, but quite possibly enough to be Colts beating when it was all said and done.

Alas, he relinquished his duties to one Jimothy R. Boyle who didn’t play terribly, but didn’t play well enough to score any points either (though he’d have led them to 3 if Jason Sanders hadn’t missed a 54 yard field goal, like ya do).

By the way, has anyone ever looked at Tim Boyle’s record as a starter? People love to say wins are a quarterback stat, so this stat is fascinating: He was 4-15 over four seasons at two different colleges and is 0-5 in the NFL. That’s 4-20, aka 17%.

How well does this guy practice?

The defense eventually relented and allowed a bunch of rushing yards, but truly, if the offense wasn’t an anemic hellscape of ineffectiveness, their performance would have been more than satisfactory. And ‘more than satisfactory’ is a threshold miles above where the team sits almost everywhere else.

Commitment to the run almost pays off

Coach Mike McDaniel has been criticized for his playcalling and that’s because it’s been bad and he should feel bad.

This week, however, he had a game plan (for better or worse) against Indianapolis and he stuck to it, despite being rewarded for it with two fumbles, one by Raheem Mostert and another by Alec Ingold.

Miami ran the ball 40 times against 26 pass attempts. The plan was obviously to ‘pound the Dwayne Johnson’, as it were, and it racked up 188 yards. The offensive line opened up running lanes and the backs took advantage. It looked downright competent.

He didn’t even take any unnecessary risks on 4th downs this week. So that was a nice change.

But, then he used that stupid FB dive again. Twice. And a game changing fumble at the IND 15 yard line was the result of the second. Isn’t that special?

I can’t really fault MM too much here, at least in the game planning aspect. He knew he was rolling with a backup quarterback, attacked with the run game and, if it weren’t for the fumbles (assisted by choosing the wrong back near the goal line), it likely would have worked out in the Fins’ favor.

‘Twas not meant to be. Which is extra pitiful, because:

Anthony Richardson is bad (right now)

I know this technically isn’t a thought about the Dolphins and I know that all of the millions of Colts fans reading this find it rich for a fan of the losing team to criticize their shiny new QB, but, hear me out before launching all of those Peyton Manning bobbleheads my way.

At one point, Richardson was 5/19. That’s 26%. That’s almost as bad as Tim Boyle’s lifetime win percentage as a starting quarterback. He did finish strong, going 5/5 to end the day 10/24 (up to a balmy 42%) for 129 yards. And that’s for all four quarters, by the way.

Yes: he added 56 yards on the ground and that’s not nothing. And Miami’s passers combined to be just as underwhelming. And, perhaps most importantly, he has his whole career ahead of him to improve (and he very well might, potentially to an incredible degree), but right now, that’s the kind of quarterback that teams, perchance those in aqua and white uniforms with floppy lil’ fishies on them, should be embarassed to lose to.

That’s you, Dolphins.

Just to be clear.

The Fins’ receivers need a revisit

I want to say it’s about $60m that Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle are being paid to amass checks notes 2 catches.

“Receivers can’t throw it to themselves.” — Masters of Understanding Space and Time

They can find the ball in the air. They can hold their teammates accountable for continual idiotic pre-snap penalties. They can generate more than 24 total yards on their 3 combined touches.

I know. The game plan probably called for Hill and Waddle to be decoys and run a bunch of clearouts, hence Jonnu Smith’s first big game and the success on the ground. I’m not putting this on Hill and Waddle, at least not really. It’d be nice if they didn’t look disinterested. Maybe that’s just the camera catching them at the wrong time. Who knows.

I do know there’s a way to get them the ball and take advantage of their considerable skill. I know this because I saw it all last year. Miami needs to get them involved again, ASAP.

I also know that OBJ is not WR3. He’s proving to be another Will Fuller and a total waste of money. I’d rather they give Malik Washington every one of his reps.

Finally, I know that Julian Hill should be cut. Harsh, maybe, but he’s been a negative all year. I don’t have the penalty yardage stats, but I’d bet my Tim Boyle autographed record book that they total more than his 34 yards receiving. Critics say that McDaniel is too soft on his players and actually holding one accountable for his consistently poor play would be a very direct way to counter that criticism.

This season feels like a nightmare just in time for Halloween

I waited until this point to even mention Tua. He’s coming back to start against Arizona.

If he plays to his potential and the offense reignites, I think it might still be too little too late. More likely, I expect it’ll look closer to how it was early this season than early last.

But what’s scariest of all heading into this spookiest of seasons is the possibility of him getting hurt again.

I’m not begruding him his decision to keep playing. He’s a grown ass man. His doctors say he’s good to go? Great, then that’s all he needs to come back.I’m not a neurologist, so I can’t say with any authority if his concussions are any better or worse than others.

I can say that it’s more likely for him than other NFL players to take a hit and have his body respond in a gruesome way on national TV because I’ve watched that happen twice already.

I just can’t see how it doesn’t happen again and, if it does, that will be awful for Tua most of all, but his family, his fans, and the NFL too.

I’m wrong a lot.

I really hope I’m wrong about that.

Can you believe that Tim Boyle has a lifetime winning percentage of 17%? I don’t even have more rhetorical questions, that’s just the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen. Help me understand in the comments below.