I debated whether to even write this article, but it’s Friday during the offseason. Let’s have a laugh.
Former Detroit Lions quarterback Dan Orlovsky went on the Pat McAfee Show this week to talk about the team’s offensive coordinator vacancy, among other topics, and the current ESPN analyst made his case to take the job himself.
“I would do it very much so in Detroit,” Orlovsky told McAfee. “I love that place, I love that organization, I love a lot of those people there. I love Jared (Goff). I’m a huge Jared guy.”
The topic quickly devolved from there about whether Orlovsky was big and manly enough to join Dan Campbell’s staff because LOL, HE’S A MEATHEAD, but in a separate clip (where McAfee manages to take yet another jab at the Lions PR team over a three-year-old slight), he explained why the Lions’ job opening was so appealing.
“Detroit’s loaded, loaded, loaded, loaded, loaded, loaded, (but) I want the interior of the offensive line to be better,” Orlovsky said.
Let’s be honest, as much as Orlovsky has done to build out a nice post-playing career at ESPN by actually elevating the conversation about football while doing a great job explaining scheme and the Xs and Os of the game, he cannot be seriously considered a candidate to run the Lions’ offense.
First of all, he has literally zero coaching experience. While I don’t doubt Orlovsky may have some good ideas on how to improve the Lions, he has never built out a game plan, led a room of professional athletes, called plays during a game, or put in the extreme hours it takes to be a football coach. Like anyone entering a new profession, you don’t know what you don’t know, and Orlovsky would be way out of his element head-manning a Lions offense that needs to be great right now.
Secondly, what kind of message would that send to some more serious candidates already in the building? If you’re Scottie Montgomery, Hank Fraley, or Mark Brunell, how would you feel if Detroit handed the entire reins of the offense to someone who hasn’t coached a lick of football since retiring from his playing days in 2017?
It’s a fun, quirky story, and I like Orlovsky. If he wanted to work his way up from assistant quarterbacks coach or as a quality control coach, I would be more than happy to entertain the idea of having him on the coaching staff. But throwing him as an offensive coordinator would be a ridiculously unnecessary risk and an insult to the position when there are plenty of legitimate candidates out there who have put in years of work within the coaching ranks.
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