Five Things I Think I Think About the Miami Dolphins – Week 3

execrable (adj) – extremely unsatisfactory

Showing the replay of this game is prohibited by Article 3 of the Geneva Convention.

It’s Week 3. How are we already here?

Not only did Miami not pull off a miracle with their merry band of misfits, it was pure agony to suffer through watching it.

Skylar Thompson looked like I expected he would

Inexperienced, in over his head, not getting the offense set in time, not in sync with the line, locking in on receivers, slow to process (he made Ryan Tannehill’s decision making look like lightning), no improvisation, no awareness, I’m not even writing a complete sentence here really.

Now, that all might make it sound like I don’t think he’s up to the task and shouldn’t continue being the starter.

Anyway.

A lot of other players look worse than I expected they would

Thompson wasn’t the only issue, by any stretch of the imagination (and, in his defense, he wasn’t put in much of a position to succeed, which we’ll get to later).

Let’s start with the only positives I can eek out of this pile of refuse.

Jaylen Wright looks good. De’Von Achane at receiver is a nice option here and there, though I don’t love him getting 15 touches at running back, reps at wideout, and shots returning kicks, but what do I know?

Storm Duck might be a great find, yet (of course), he was injured, as all potentially valuable Dolphins are.

Jalen Ramsey popped up a few times making plays, the pass rush did a decent job harassing Geno Smith (and nabbing an interception), and maybe Dee Eskridge can replace Braxton Berrios because there’s still no third receiver to speak of.

I even saw Mike McDaniel finally getting heated on the sideline when the refs caused a bunch of confusion for the offense (separate from the 22 other times we saw the refs on screen).

That little bit of brightness is the only help I can offer. The rest of the team offered even less.

There was none from Tyreek Hill or Jaylen Waddle, none from the O-line (Terron Armstead was injured yet again with, checks notes, an eye injury? What’s left, athlete’s uvula?), none from the play call operation, none from the concussion protocol (Kendall Fuller and ultimately Armstead joined Tua in that system), none from the refs (Chop Robinson’s auditioning for the new version of Cam Wake by getting tackled on his speed rush while the officials ignore it), none from coaching decisions (like going for it on 4th and 3 with Tim Boyle’s first pass and the play calls inside the 5): none really at all.

Jordan Poyer was a downgrade at safety. He’s slow to react, weak in coverage, and always trying to injure the ball carrier instead of just making a play.

Both inside linebackers are disappointing.

Why is Duke Riley in? How about Anthony Walker?

The middle of everything Dolphins is forgotten. Maybe that’s where the rot spreads from.

The Seahawks barely had to show up. Miami took care of it all for them.

Self imposed problems pummel any potential

The same lame 3rd and 1 inside handoff play call has been used in each of the first three games. I’m not going to check, because they don’t deserve my time this week, but I believe it’s worked one out of four times. Maybe less.

Let’s see what else: Jason Sanders missed a field goal, pre-snap penalties ran rampant, other penalties negated decent plays, deep pitches were called in short yardage situations just to make sure they didn’t accidentally move the ball forward, there was an almost wasted timeout followed by a muffed snap, Julian Hill continued just generally having a bad start to his season, actual wasted timeouts showed up for a third consecutive week, a blown coverage allowed D.K. Metcalf’s long TD catch, Alec Ingold stopped on his lead block assignment due to some referee-based nonsense and I’m again not even focused on writing properly because it’s easier to list all of the pitiful ways the Fins failed in one giant paragraph, just like it’s easier to tell people you’re happy with your offensive line than it is to build a good one.

Chris Grier needs to be honest with himself and the team he’s built. It has no depth. It’s designed for a perfect world, but we live in a real one.

Speaking of dudes who should probably be honest with themselves:

Mike McDaniel’s philosophy needs updated

Look at the Steelers. Just look at ‘em. They haven’t had good offensive weapons since the Nixon administration and yet they manage to win games.

It’s often ugly. It’s often boring. 60% of the time, it works every time. Meaning, they still lose here and there. But they don’t build a team designed for one style so narrow, so focused on the skillset of one individual player, that only that player can run it. That’s what we in the business of reason call a single point of failure.

Miami’s has failed.

This offense is FTBM. For Tua, By Mike (not nearly as catchy as FUBU, I’ll freely admit).

Here’s the thing: now that Tua’s not here, the offense can’t stay that way.

I realize that it’s unreasonable to completely overhaul an offensive system in ten days. It’s not, however, unreasonable to design a game plan for the quarterback you actually have available to play.

Fight about Tua all you want (please don’t; just fight about Tannehill again like the good old days), but his elite traits are his timing and accuracy, which work wonders in a timing based offense and (as we’ve seen plenty) fail spectacularly when the timing is disrupted.

Skylar Thompson does not share those elite traits. So to expect him to do the same things is unfair to him and gets you curb stomped 24-3 by an average team.

McDaniel talks a big game about tailoring to his players’ strengths, learning from his mistakes, and making adjustments. So far, I’m seeing none of that. I’m seeing an offense that was built with a single point of failure that failed and no one bothered to install any safety rails.

Week 4 suddenly feels like Week 18

“Must win” is so overused that calling it a cliche is a cliche.

That said, if Miami loses to the 0-3 Titans at home, it would be a huge indictment of Mike McDaniel and the whole Fins’ organization.

The problems are clear. Even if the full solution isn’t, incremental steps to improve aren’t hard to come by.

Take some.

Show that the team hasn’t packed it in for the year before September’s even finished. Clean up basic things like pre-snap penalties. Call plays that actually lend themselves to the players on the field. Also, keep good players on the field more. Just a thought. Why Julian Hill, Tanner Conner, and Erik Ezukanma are getting targets while Tyreek Hill stands on the sideline is beyond me.

See what Tyler Huntley can do with his legs. Lean on a blend of Achane, Wright, Jeff Wilson, and Ingold to ground and pound. Dial up the pressure on Will Levis and force him into mistakes.

Just don’t do the same thing again.

We’ve seen how that ends.

Who should start at QB against TEN and why is it Tyler Huntley? Which GM should be getting an ultimatum from his ownership and why is it Chris Grier? What third rhetorical question should I put here? Lose your mind in the comments below.