alluvion (noun) – a great flow of water or of something that overwhelms
I’m gonna come at this from a different angle.
Jaylen Wright looks good.
Chop Robinson looks promising.
This game, as ugly as it felt, was entirely down to turnovers. Without them, the stats were nearly identical and the score was close. Even with the turnovers, Miami was a few yards from being down 14 points with a full quarter left to play.
That’s pretty much all of the positivity I can muster.
Let’s look at some other points that will in no way immediately collapse into problems.
De’Von Achane looks like the real deal
Second year running back De’Von Achane racked up 96 yards on 22 carries, while adding 7 receptions for 69 yards and a TD. He had 29 touches after being questionable coming into the game. You can decide for yourself if that’s appropriate management of his injury risk, but he finished the game in tact and pretty dominant.
So.
Miami had a decent game plan on defense
Despite Mr. January rolling into town in the September heat, Anthony Weaver had a plan that minimized his impact. Josh Allen was kept in check, finishing 13/19 (68%) for 139 yds, 1 TD, 0 INT. Miami forced Buffalo to rely on their non-Josh Allen players.
Too bad those players did an excellent job.
Buffalo had the exact same game plan to deal with the Fins. They took away Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle, forcing MIA to rely on their non-Tyreek and Jaylen players.
Too bad those players did a terrible job.
Offensive play calling was better at the beginning
Mike McDaniel took fair criticism in Week 1 for some less-than-ideal play calling. In Week 2, the early offense showed a good balance of run v. pass, more general variety, utilized some different players, and relied on fewer horizontal throws.
Then, it quickly got stupid.
Before long, the plays were targeting our weakest areas, such as wide receivers who were unprepared to produce (twice resulting in interceptions), going to the FB dive too predictably on short yardage downs, and eventually even leaning into our absolute worst positions, i.e. running behind a backup LT and LG in critical situations. It puts the mind in a very angry bottle.
Also, the drive to end the first half was insanity. I don’t know what MM’s deal is with timeouts, but they must have really hurt him in a past life.
Next 3rd and 2, throw a slant. They used to be really good at those and have a little bit of speed to work with. Just don’t target WR6.
Speaking of:
The team is extremely top heavy
We all talked about the need for a reliable third wide receiver last week and that’s only gotten painfully more obvious. Lack of depth across the board is a significant issue. After Hill and Waddle, there’s nothing. After Terron Armstead, there’s nothing. After Raheem Mostert— well, that’s cool.
Tightest of ends Julian Hill dropped two TD passes. No, they weren’t perfect, but he makes enough money to go ahead and catch them anyway. You can pay me a fraction of his salary and I’ll not score just the same.
Grant DuBose mostly caused the first interception and Robbie Chosen contributed to the second. Neither should be getting real reps. Is Hunter Renfrow still out there? What he lacks in hair he makes up for in hands.
I’ve written less on these first four points than I (an unregulated, overly verbose mutant) normally do because there’s really only one thing I think right now:
Buffalo looked like an average team and MIA needed to take advantage of that
Instead, they laid a monumental egg. Like an ostrich egg coming out of a mouse.
Blame it on Allen’s mythical gloved hand or whatever, but Buffalo is a very beatable team. They’re worse than they’ve been for the last few years and it doesn’t feel like a secret. This was a golden opportunity for Miami and they took that CD out in clear daylight and they scratched it.
Does Miami feed its own narratives and self perpetuate all the problems that have plagued them forever? Like, I don’t know, giving up long 3rd downs on defense, being less physical every week, failing to convert short yardage situations, committing costly penalties, and withering in prime time?
It’s almost incomprehensible that these SAME PROBLEMS show up year after year, now for decades. The front office changes, the coaches change, the players change, the system changes, and yet, the problems persist. If it wasn’t so sad, I’d have to laugh.
A 3rd and 12 gets converted for 33 yards? How many times does that have to happen before it’s fixed? I’m not even asking rhetorically, there has to be a hard number here, but it appears to be above countability.
Jordan Poyer did his level best to up the physicality, hitting as hard as possible to the point of penalties way down field after surrendering a bunch of yards instead of just playing well. Miami needs to be a more punishing team, but has to embody that in the trenches, not as headhunters. The line looks overmatched all the time. Their best case is standing the pass rusher up with zero push back. I think that sets a tone that carries throughout the rest of the roster. Speed is great, but sometimes it has to be backed up with a little muscle. It’s probably a symptom of having both subpar players and injuries on the O-line, but that’s not new. It’s the oldest story in the Dolphins’ book. And I’m getting extremely tired of reading it.
How about short yardage situations? 3rd and 2? 4th and 1? These should be stressful for the defense. Instead, Fins fans wince while we watch the same failed attempts til our eyes fall out. If the line isn’t up to par stuffing it straight up the middle, then do something else. There are infinite ways to pick up 6 feet. It’ll never be perfect, but it’s currently many miles away from that.
I know! The refs! Fans can always find ways to blame officiating, but the Dolphins have a special knack for maximizing the negative impact of penalties. If they’re only called for two in a game, you’d better believe one negated a first down and the other erased a turnover or something equally embarassing. This is an area where coaching has a responsibility, but so do veteran players who act as leaders. Figure out how to drill it into everyone’s heads, whether that’s an old school Homer-Simpson-throttling-Bart approach or a kinder and more supportive tact: just get everyone to focus each play. Penalties destroy momentum as badly as the Bills destroy the Dolphins.
Perhaps the most frustrating and disappointing aspect of all of this ranting and raving is the Dolphins’ determination to look like complete fools in prime time games. I don’t mind losing to better teams. Or even suffering the ocassional bad luck heartbreaker. Unless you’re the best in history, it’s gonna happen. But to be a paddy wagon of Keystone Cops every single time there’s a national audience begs the question: why do the NFL and the networks keep putting them under the bright lights? It’s consistently a nightmare to endure as a Fins fan and has to be boring as hell to non-Fins fans by the 3rd quarter. Just slot Miami into the Wednesday 11:00 am window each week and watch them blow every team to smithereens.
Oh, I almost forgot: the team is injured just literally all the f****** time.
As of this writing, the Fins are on their backup LT, 3rd string LG (on an O-line that is highly questionable even at full strength), down one RB, playing their 76th WR, missing their premier pass rusher while the other is clearly still impacted by his own injury recovery and, I feel like I’m missing something…right, are putting Skyler Thompson out there because they didn’t think there was a point in getting a good backup QB. And it’s Week 2!
As of Thursday’s game, the season had started FOUR DAYS AGO.
I (hopefully obviously) hope Tua’s all right both in the near term and for his future. But, my guy. Slide. Just put your feet out in front of you and go down. I know you’re a professional athlete, competitive, trying to make up for missed plays, frustrated: all that jazz. But, brohaim. Bronando. Landbro Calrissian. It’s just a matter of prioritization. If you have multiple top priorities, you have none. The first one should be to protect a historically damaged head and neck. Full stop.
Okay.
For my own sanity I need to at least attempt to find a silver lining among the mess, so my attempt is this: most years Miami likes to come out strong and then fade toward the end of the year. It’s honestly their favorite thing. This year gives them a chance to come out faded and finish strong at the right time, New York Giants style.
Maybe Eli will come out of retirement to help.
What keeps you coming back? The uniforms? The pageantry? The Stockholm Syndrome? Justify yourself in the comments below.
