Airing my grievances toward the 2024 Los Angeles Rams

“I’ve got (some) problems with this team and now you’re gonna hear about it!”

The Los Angeles Rams have given fans reason to celebrate as the team remains relevant with two games left in the 2024 regular season. Similar to last season, the Rams have experienced a Festivus miracle to have gotten to this point despite a rough beginning.

There are plenty of things to be grateful for but in the true spirit of Festivus, it is time for the airing of grievances.

Serenity now! Serenity now!

I have (some) problems with this team and now you’re gonna hear about it! Here are a few of the ways LA (and others) have disappointed me this year:

Colby Parkinson

Where do I even begin with this one?

Colby Parkinson was a major whiff by Les Snead in free agency, though nowhere close to the Allen Robinson disaster. After signing a three-year deal worth way more than what he deserved, Parkinson has just 29 receptions for 288 yards and a touchdown in 15 games. His lack of production given the price tag is troubling, and likely to worsen with Tyler Higbee back.

Perhaps Parkinson is a double agent Pete Carroll sent over in his last-ditch effort to sabotage the Rams. Guess what Pete, it didn’t work! Hold up, I should wait to talk my trash until after the Seahawks rematch. That’ll show him.

Matthew Stafford haters (again)

Look, I’ve said all season that the Matthew Stafford experience can be nauseating and not for the faint of heart. Since Stafford arrived in Hollywood however, you may call him Mr. December.

The veteran quarterback has a 17-5 touchdown-to-interception ratio in LA’s last 10 games. This comes a year after Stafford threw 16 touchdown passes to just 4 interceptions with a 104.5 passer rating during a 6-1 stretch of games to end the season, en route to his second career Pro Bowl nod.

While yes, Stafford can throw the occasional boneheaded interception that makes you want to chuck your beer at the TV, there’s only a handful of QBs I’d take over him.

Detroit Lions

The Lions have been a reasonably nice story to follow over the last couple of seasons. Their resurgence is well-deserved for a fanbase craving its first-ever Super Bowl appearance.

But seriously, screw this dirty ass team. Forget biting off kneecaps when Detroit has a safety in Kirby Joseph known for blowing out knees instead. Stafford knew it after Higbee was severely injured in the Rams’ loss to the Lions in last year’s Wild Card Round.

While I don’t wish injuries on opposing players, what Detroit has gone through over the second half of the season is a little something I like to call karma.

Inexplicable losses in winnable games

Watching the Bears lose their ninth straight yesterday made me wonder how in the hell LA lost to that miserable excuse of a franchise.

Even though the Rams have lost some bad ones to the Cardinals and Eagles, those aren’t the inexplicable losses I’m referring to here. I’m talking about games where the team had a chance but repeatedly shot themselves in the foot.

The Rams lost three very winnable games to the Bears, Packers and Dolphins by a combined 19 points. Somehow LA couldn’t capitalize on Jordan Love’s remarkably stupid interception before halftime.

C’mon man, really?! If LA had won one or two of those games, they might not have had to worry about the pressure of winning the final two games to clinch a playoff spot.

Injuries

The pesky injury bug derailed the 2022 Rams following their Super Bowl win. For a good chunk of the year, it felt like LA was about to go down that dark path again.

Puka Nacua and Cooper Kupp missed a combined nine games. The offensive line suffered several injuries, with free agent signee Jonah Jackson and second-year pro Steve Avila missing much of the season. Joe Noteboom and Rob Havenstein also missed time.

Thankfully by some Festivus miracle, none of those injuries have hindered LA’s playoff quest.

NFL officiating

Unless you’re a fan of the Kansas City Chiefs, all NFL fans have some beef with NFL officials. While members of the officiating crew are human beings and mistakes happen all the time, there’s clearly something wrong if refs are being offered free LASIK.

I sure didn’t see that one coming, and evidently, neither did anyone on the officiating crew who missed that painfully obvious false start. Of course, these issues will continue because the NFL front office doesn’t believe in holding their officials accountable.

I only wonder which poor team will get cheated in the AFC Championship after the Chiefs advance to the Super Bowl on a phantom call.

San Francisco 49ers

No airing of the grievances is complete without taking some shots at the 49ers. Although, we should take it easy on San Francisco since they were eliminated from playoff contention yesterday. How sad. Boo-hoo.

(Ahem)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHINERS!!!

Seeing the Niners miss the playoffs after choking another Super Bowl away is the gift that keeps on giving. No one should bother buying me presents this year!

Plus, several 49ers fans want Kyle Shanahan gone, Deebo Samuel is still painfully overrated and the front office could be pressured into giving Brock Purdy a $60 million contract this offseason. Their turmoil is just beginning and it truly couldn’t happen to a better team.

Now, I cannot fulfill everything (or anything) on your Amazon wish lists, so let me leave everyone with this glorious gift that will top anything you receive this holiday season:

Happy holidays Turf Show Ramily and Merry Festivus!