We have a responsibility to save our children. They’re the most vulnerable people in our society, and it’s downright irresponsible to introduce them to the Cincinnati Bengals.
It’s too late for me. It’s too late for us—if you’re here and you’re reading this, you’re part of the “us.”
But it’s not too late for them.
I’ve made my bed, and now I’ll sleep in it. I really, really hope that before my permanent rest comes, the Bengals reach the peak of the mountain so I can rest comfortably in the bed I’ve made for myself.
I fear that’s not going to be in the cards.
So I’ve decided that while I won’t push my kids away from the Bengals—especially if they come into the fold of their own volition (in that case, I’ll save a spot on the couch, and in the loony bin, for them)—I also won’t force it.
If my son comes home one day and tells me he hopes the Patriots win the Super Bowl because he’s not going to subject himself to the pain and frustration Bengals fans endure, I won’t stop him. I might even encourage it. If my daughter says she wants to root for the Rams, I’ll tell her the Rams are a good choice, and I’ll share in her joy when they win (unless they’re playing Cincinnati).
As long as it’s not the Steelers, Browns, or Ravens.
Or the Chiefs.
Now then—that was about the worst ending the Bengals could have asked for to wrap up this turd of a season. Well, that’s not entirely true. Had a major contributor been injured, putting their 2026 season in jeopardy, that would have been the true worst-case scenario.
Thankfully, that didn’t happen.
What did happen is the Bengals showed up at home against the 4–12 Browns, led by Shedeur Sanders, and decided to lose in front of their own fans. This was a failure on both sides of the ball. The Browns’ defense scored two touchdowns—one pick-six and one scoop-and-score—and after the Bengals’ offense managed to put the team up by a single point with 1:29 remaining, the defense allowed Sanders to march Cleveland into field-goal range.
After the game, Zac Taylor said the ending was a “little bit fitting” for such a crap season, which is something I don’t think a head coach should be saying—unless he knows his job is 100% safe.
In the wake of the season’s end and Black Monday, Bengals ownership released a statement confirming what we already knew: they aren’t moving on from Taylor or de facto general manager Duke Tobin, and they believe the duo still gives the Bengals their best chance to win a championship.
We know different.
So how do you feel as the 2025 season ends and we transition into the offseason? Are you fully disenfranchised? Are you planning to take a step back, or will it take more before the rot really sets in?
Sound off. I genuinely want to know.
Random thoughts from Week 18:
- I don’t know that I would’ve minded if the referees stopped the game after Myles Garrett broke the sack record in Cleveland, in front of Browns fans. I would’ve understood it. But it didn’t happen in Cleveland—it happened in Cincinnati. And for the life of me, I can’t comprehend why a flag wasn’t thrown when half the Browns were on the field. And once it was clear there would be no flag, was there something stopping the Bengals from lining up and taking a snap to force a five-yard penalty? To be clear, that celebration didn’t cost the Bengals the game, but it certainly didn’t help.
- It’s amazing to me that Kevin Stefanski had Sanders shoved down his throat, beat two superior teams who also happened to be division rivals in the final two weeks of the season, and still got fired. It’s almost as mind-boggling as Taylor keeping his job. Ohio truly is Pro Football Hell.
- The production from Cam Sample, Myles Murphy, and even the small flashes we saw from Shemar Stewart late in the season probably seals Trey Hendrickson’s fate. I highly doubt the Bengals will tag him, because I think they believe they don’t need him.
- They could use an upgrade at every single position on defense, and considering how bang-up of a job they’ve done drafting lately, I suspect it’ll take more than one offseason before we see meaningful improvement on that side of the ball.
- The Bengals needed to re-sign Dalton Risner yesterday (or whenever they were allowed to).
- They also likely need to address offensive tackle. Orlando Brown Jr. gave up nine sacks this season, but only two over his final seven starts. If he was dealing with lingering injury issues early on, that’s one thing—but he’ll be 30 in May, and you know what that means.
- Two missed extra points will never not matter. It always comes back to haunt a team. Evan McPherson was better in 2025 than 2024, but he can’t miss free points like that.
- Noah Fant’s fumble that resulted in a defensive touchdown was his third fumble this season that turned into a scoop-and-score. That almost seems impossible given how much has to go wrong for a defensive touchdown to happen.
- The Bengals trailed by two points at halftime, yet held the ball for more than 21 minutes and outgained the Browns 233 yards to 40 in the first two quarters.
It’s been a brutal couple of years. I said the 2025 offseason was the most important in Bengals history. They failed.
So I’ll say it again: this upcoming offseason is the most important in franchise history. If they don’t get it right, I’ll be saying the same thing about 2027—and then 2028—and so on, until I’m cold in the ground or institutionalized.
Here’s hoping.
Goodbye’s too good of a word, babe
So I’ll just say, “Fare thee well”
I ain’t a-saying you treated me unkind
You could’ve done better but I don’t mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don’t think twice, it’s all right
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