For the first time in 20 years, the NFC East will have a repeat champion. The Eagles can stumble, and are stumbling, their way through the rest of the season, and they will win the division because somebody has to and the rest of the division is declining to participate. The NFC Least is so back.
Philadelphia Eagles (7-2)
The Eagles have a win/loss ratio of 7 to 2. They also have an outgained by the other team/out gained the other team ratio of 7 to 2. This is a team begging for a losing streak. By both stats and vibes.
- They signed a guy who retired after 5 weeks, and traded for a guy who retired after 10 days. They also brought a guy out of retirement to try to fix the vibes.
- A guy the defensive coordinator said he wouldn’t have signed if it was up to him has played a majority of snaps in 5 of the 7 games he has played because he’s apparently the least worst option.
- They traded for a guy to return kicks and then gave up on him returning kicks after nine returns in four games.
- They scored 10 points out of the bye.
- Their star WR has quit on the team.
- Said star WR and the QB aren’t talking to each other.
- Their signature play that the league hates for how brutally effective it is now hated for the penalties that aren’t called on it.
If this was happening to any other team, we would actively be making fun of them. I mean, we already are actively making fun of them, but this is our team, we get to do that no matter how good or bad they are.
And yet, there is no team in the NFC that is clearly better. If the Eagles can get their shit together for consecutive weeks in January, they can get back to the Super Bowl. First though, they have to get their shit together for 60 consecutive minutes.
Dallas Cowboys (3-5-1)
This time last year the Cowboys had just three wins, one of which was against the Giants. This year they have just three wins, one of which was against the Giants. Credit where it is due, the team hasn’t gotten worse under Brian Schottenheimer! The defense has the stopping power of a cloud, but fear not, to turn this unit around is a member of the 2025 Jets!
When Schottenheimer was hired, it felt like the Dave Campo era all over again, where the Cowboys were an irrelevant franchise. And that’s what it feels like now. The Cowboys are the thing that Jerry Jones fears the most: irrelevant. This is an NPC franchise that is acting like an NPC. They traded their best player for a poor return, then overpaid for a good but not great player, as if the Packers and Jets exploited how the in-game AI values players. And trading for two DTs also feels like the poor roster construction that NPC teams in all kinds of sports sims do.
Picking on the Cowboys feels a bit like elder abuse at this stage. The Cowboys stink, and they stink in uninteresting ways. A head coach that everyone knew isn’t it isn’t it. A defense that everyone knew is trash, is trash. The best players on this team are really good but can’t carry the team, which we knew from last year. The Cowboys are the Bengals of the NFC in so many ways.
If I had a nickel for every time that Dan Quinn took over defensive play calling duties in his second season, I would have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
The first time Dan Quinn stripped his defensive coordinator of play calling duties, it ended with blowing a 28-3 lead in the Super Bowl. Quinn won’t have to worry about that this season, winning eight games is going to be a challenge.
Just about everything that could possibly go wrong for the Commanders is going wrong, and none of it was hard to see coming. The oldest team in the league can’t stay healthy, what a shock. A bad defense that didn’t make any major talent upgrades is once again bad, what a shock. A team with no running game beyond their QB can’t run the ball, what a shock. A team that won a bunch of close games with fluke outcomes can’t magically keep winning like that, what a shock.
The 2024 Commanders had a really good season, but they weren’t a good team. They’re still not a good team and in the NFL when regression comes, it comes pretty mean. It has come for the Commanders.
New York Giants (2-8)
Brian Daboll entered the 2025 season with his seat on fire. Giants ownership basically admitted that a fifth head coach in 10 years would be a bad look. And it would be, but at that point just fire him and save yourself further embarrassment.
And further embarrassment they did have. Brian Daboll is out of a job before Thanksgiving, and it isn’t directly because the team is 2-8. Sure, being 2-8 should get you fired and it played a role, but the primary reason Daboll got fired was because he is a big dumb embarrassing idiot child.
Daboll cost the Giants $100,000 when he foolishly went into the medical tent and berated the medical staff for evaluating Jaxson Dart for a concussion. And last week he not only kept Dart in the game when it was clear he had taken a bad hit to the head, he called QB runs for a guy who runs the ball like he has a death wish. See ya.
Don’t be the least bit surprised when he’s employed by the Eagles in a non-specific role next year. He’s buddies with Nick Sirianni, who in 2022 called Daboll “one of my biggest mentors.”
“I just have so much respect for him and really appreciate everything he has done for my career because he made me a way better coach just being around him for a year,” said Sirianni. “…I can’t say enough good things about him. I see why his team is playing so well because they are sound because they have a really good head football coach over there in New York.”
And if you think, “there is no way they’re hiring this clown of a coach” need I remind you:
“[He’s] been an excellent resource for me. You bring guys like that in to do just that, be resources for you… He has a ton of experience. It’s nice to have a former head coach on the staff that I’m able to bounce some different things off of.”
Nick Sirianni said that about Matt Patricia.
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