This is not the Super Bowl any of us wanted.
In an infinite universe with an infinite number of stars and infinite planets with infinite chances of harboring life, somewhere, the Buffalo Bills and the Washington Commanders will be playing in the upcoming Super Bowl. Unfortunately, that is not our reality.
In our reality, we get a rematch between the Kansas City Chiefs, who are looking to be the first team to win three consecutive championships, and the Philadelphia Eagles, who are just completely unlikeable to anyone outside the Philadelphia area.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player in the history of the world. He entered a stratosphere all his own the first time he won three championships in a row (‘91, ‘92, ‘93). That’s when he stopped being Michael Jordan, the basketball player, and became Michael Jordan, the legend.
That’s where we’re at with Patrick Mahomes. He can do things that shouldn’t be possible on a football field. Quarterbacks have drilled into their heads from a young age some simple rules — don’t throw across your body, don’t throw into double/triple coverage, and don’t be careless with the ball. Mahomes breaks all those rules on a regular basis, and it works out because he’s just so physically talented. Then he’s paired with one of the greatest offensive minds in Andy Reid, and the rest is history.
If Mahomes retired today, he’d be a Hall of Famer in a few years. If he wins the Super Bowl this year, he’ll become the NFL’s Jordan. That would be great for Kansas City and maybe even great for the sport, but it would be Hell for the rest of the AFC.
Joe Burrow, Josh Allen, Justin Herbert, Lamar Jackson — all of them would be overshadowed by Mahomes the way so many quarterbacks were by Tom Brady when the Patriots played in every single AFC Championship game. Mahomes already does overshadow the rest of the league, but when he does something that has never been done before it’ll go into overdrive. They’ll crown him the GOAT immediately. If you think the Chiefs are insufferable now, just wait.
I’m not a big fan of the Eagles, but I can root for Saquon Barkley to cap off a historic finish. Either way, you cut it, this Super Bowl matchup sucks for everyone outside of Missouri, Eastern Pennsylvania, and my daughter, who loves Taylor Swift’s boyfriend.
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NFL Awards
AP MVP Nominees:
- Joe Burrow
- Lamar Jackson
- Josh Allen
- Saquon Barkley
- Jared Goff
Unfortunately for Burrow, wins are a stat and despite his MVP-caliber season, he’s out of the running. So is Jared Goff, because he doesn’t have the stats to pair with his wins. I’d love to see Barkley win because any time a running back goes over 2,000 yards in today’s pass-happy NFL it’s an amazing accomplishment. It’s going to come down between Jackson and Allen, and my guess is Allen’s divisional win over Jackson pushes the needs in his direction.
AP Offensive Player of the Year Nominees:
- Ja’Marr Chase
- Joe Burrow
- Ja’Marr Chase
- Derrick Henry
- Lamar Jackson
Again, wins are a stat and Joe Burrow didn’t get into the playoffs. Now, Ja’Marr Chase’s Triple Crown is a rare feet. It has only been done three times since the 2000 season. Again, though, Chase didn’t play football after Week 18. I think Henry is out simply because Barkley’s 2024 season was better. It’ll likely come down between Barkley and Jackson, and Barkley wins because he got the Eagles to the Super Bowl.
AP Defensive Player of the Year Nominees:
- Trey Hendrickson
- Zack Baun
- Myles Garrett
- Patrick Surtain II
- TJ Watt
I think Hendrickson wins this one, which would make him the only player in Bengals history to be named DPOY. He racked up 17.5 sacks for the second year in a row, and he led the NFL by three and a half. Despite the fact the Bengals had no consistent pass rusher other than Hendrickson, and he still led the league in sacks is pretty remarkable. He’ll knock out Watt and Garrett and will go up against Baun and Surtain, but I think Hendrickson wins.
AP Comeback Player of the Year
- Joe Burrow
- Sam Darnold
- JK Dobbins
- Christian Gonzalez
- Damar Hamlin
Here’s where Burrow is recognized for his incredible 2024 season. He came back from a Week 11 season-ending injury in 2023 to throw for 4,918 yards, 43 touchdowns, and nine interceptions. He became the first player in NFL history to throw for over 250 yards and three touchdowns in an amazing seven consecutive games. What all the guys did above was amazing, but the NFL needs to recognize Burrow’s season, and this is how they’ll do it.
As far as the offensive and defensive rookies of the year, I don’t think there’s a way Jayden Daniels doesn’t win OROY. Jared Verse probably wins DROY. Dan Campbell is my favorite to win Coach of the Year, and Ben Johnson is my favorite for Assistant Coach of the Year.
Who do you think wins?
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There’s not a lot going on for the Bengals, at least on the surface level. I’m sure they’re working on extending Chase, Hendrickson, and hopefully Tee Higgins as well. Maybe they’ll restructure Burrow’s contract to free up some cash to get deals done. We’re coming up on the Senior Bowl, the Combine, free agency,y and then the draft. Before we get to it, though, we have to get through the next two weeks — the Pro Bowl and the Super Bowl.
Speaking of, will you watch the Pro Bowl?
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night
I was as cold as a stone
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for
