meliorate (verb) – to make better
Hey all you cats and kittens!
Remember? Tiger King?
Whatever, shut up. I’m out of Dolphins related intros.
Strong starts are becoming a theme
Unlike this article, Miami started strong again on Monday night, in prime time.
The Fins’ offense came out hot against the Rams with a 5 play, 70 yard touchdown drive and the defense backed them up right away with a 3 and out.
Then, the offense, much like a thing with a weak middle, had a weak middle. Man, I am not used to coming up with stuff after wins. I don’t care for it.
Thankfully, the defense kept their momentum going, restricting St. Louis to drives of 6 plays or fewer on all but one first half drive (nabbing an INT and forcing a fumble along the way, to boot) en route to two field goals by halftime.
The offense was again shot out of a cannon to start the 3rd quarter, going 53 yards on 6 plays for another touchdown.
How can I find a negative in this?
I guess I can ask: Are they becoming a scripted offense?
Is that a thing?
They seem to do really well on their opening drives, i.e. ones that could possibly be scripted and then just okay on the remainder.
Could it be that Mike McDaniel isn’t decisive enough when calling plays that aren’t pre-planned?
The calls do get in late sometimes and blowing timeouts sure seems to be scripted.
That said, I’m not going to get bogged down in criticism after a win. I’ll just say that if the opening drive(s) offense showed up every drive, why, they’d score 70 points against the Broncos.
Tua showed some escapability
A big knock against one Tubert Tagovailobert is his supposed immobility in the pocket.
Now, I watched Ryan Tannehill get wrecked like a freshman at the first frat party of the year every time he put on a Fins uniform, so I know what immobility looks like. (In a magnificent example of Dolphins’ coaching prowess, he started his career extremely mobile and they taught that out of him immediately).
Tua isn’t exactly Lamar Jackson with his legs, but he can make some nice moves here and there and Monday was a little here and a little there.
He extended a couple of plays with his feet and made some great throws outside the pocket.
Then there were the times where he seemed to stare at the defender from 10 yards away, wait patiently for him to get up to speed, drop the needle on a vinyl copy of Chariots of Fire, and get blasted into the stratosphere.
I’m not sure why he’s so boom-or-bust on working the pocket. He either looks like Jon Heder in Blades of Glory or the mom in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? Ask your parents.
He also made a ridiculous choice to try to tackle Rams linebacker Mumford Andsons after an interception, receiving a knee to his famously fragile head for his trouble.
Tua’s not perfect (a slogan built for t-shirts), but it’s nice to see him manage a collapsing pocket and look a little more like the mobile QBs he’s compared against.
Even if it’s only some of the time.
Pass catchers are floundering a bit
“Why do you always have negative things to say after a win?”, you ask, wasting both of our time.
Because I have nothing but hate in my cold, dead heart and it’s in the shape of a dolphin wearing a football helmet.
Buy me therapy about it.
I rag on Julian Hill a lot, but that’s only because he deserves it. He’s like Eustace Scrubb in that way. Ask your parents.
Just to prove that J-Hill isn’t the only J-man who could stand to improve, Jaylen Waddle dropped a freebie and Jonnu Smith, well, he actually looked just fine.
But to prove that J-Hill isn’t the only Hill who can underperform, Tyreek Hill caught 3 whole passes for 16 whole yards. Yes; one was a touchdown. Yes also; that was his first since Week 1.
Malik Washington seems better than OBJ, but that’s a low bar so far. But it’s something.
For such a vaunted and capable passing attack, Miami’s pass catchers have been nearly M.I.A. this year, it feels. Maybe it’s just the mismatch of reality to expectations, but I really hope to see them turn it on like we all know they can.
Julian Hill too.
Defense is defending
Okay, here it is. Just plain old good stuff. The defense.
After being pretty paltry the last two weeks, Anthony Weaver’s group got it together (with help from returning stalwarts Zach Sieler, Kader Kohou, and Jevon Holland).
They stifled the Rams ‘Greatest Show on Paper Only, Since about 2001’ (consciously ignoring 2019 and 2022), holding them to 15 points off of 5 field goals. You’ll note: that’s 0 touchdowns.
Quarterback Matthew Stafford was hit 6 times and sacked 4. Chop Robinson seems to be finding his footing a bit, getting his second sack in as many weeks, adding 2 QB pressures, and a TFL. Sieler wreaked havoc and Calais Campbell continued to tell the Grim Reaper to shove it, making his presence felt.
The secondary had some injury issues with Kendall Fuller missing time, as well as Kohou briefly. Cam Smith got meaningful reps as a result, which should only help in the long run.
Jordan Poyer is still out there, though. So. Can’t win ‘em all.
But they did win this one. Mostly because of the defense.
The climb is still steep
So we’ve made it. The Dolphins won, they’re heading to the playoffs, and the Superbowl is imminent.
Or.
Miami has to basically win out just to squeak into the postseason.
However, I’ve seen this story play out before. Teams with good rosters and bad streaks strike it hot at the exact right time and noodle their way into history. It’s not impossible.
But, it’s pretty pretty pretty hard.
So let’s start counting down the remaining wins, one by one, starting next week with a home game against the Oakland Raiders.
Each week Miami gets one, we’ll all meet back here, mark it off the list, and talk about how they can win the next one.
You know.
Something different.
Did you know Will Poulter played Eustace Scrubb in The Voyage of the Dawn Treader? And Kate McKinnon played Carole Baskin in a dramatic retelling of Tiger King? And they took the helmet off of the Miami Dolphin logo because they’re going to replace it with a Guardian cap? Ask your parents in the comments below.
