“Can’t wait!” — Bart Scott, philosopher
I’ve finally emerged from my self imposed exile in The Red Waste of Essos.
I was gone for so long that I missed my offseason article and my recap article of last season’s predictions.
Just gonna take a little peek here and…welp, let’s just say they brought down my average as much as math allows.
A lot has changed in the meantime, but many of the critical pieces have stayed the same:
- We have a Reek.
- We have a Ramsey.
- We have a Mother of Dragons?
Close enough.
Here’s what I see for the 2024 Miami Dolphins when I tap into my Greenseer powers.
The Dolphins’ defense will improve in at least two major categories
Vic Fangio had me excited when he came in as Miami’s defensive coordinator. The results kept me excited. The Fins were ranked 10th in Total Defense in 2023. That’s solid.
But, as with all seemingly grouchy guys who’d rather be in Philly and coach with a style that doesn’t appear to mesh well with players, Fangio bounced immediately, leaving the coaching staff with a void to fill.
Enter Anthony Weaver, fresh off the staff in Baltimore. Weaver, I dare say, has me more excited than Fangio. While he may not have the historical pedigree, he has a philosophy that, at least on the surface, aligns with Mike McDaniel’s and, therefore, the players’.
Miami’s defensive ranks for 2023 were as follows:
Total Defense – 10th
Passing Yards Allowed – 15th
Rushing Yards Allowed – 7th
Scoring Defense – 22nd
Red Zone Defense – 28th
3rd Down Defense – 20th
I see them increasing their ranks in Red Zone defense (hard not to), 3rd down defense, and, in an unrivaled display of confidence (haha; just wait til later) passing yards allowed.
They shall rebuff the advancing troops as surely as the great Wall.
Or something like that.
Miami will make the playoffs for a third time under Mike McDaniel
Look, I don’t even think this is that risky of a prediction. And that’s coming from a lifelong Dolphins fan.
But the team has made it two seasons in a row and it feels like they’re in a position to make some noise.
Why not a bolder, perhaps sillier prediction like “Miami will beat the Bears in the Superb Owl by 49 points and return glory to the Lands of Florida!”?
Injuries, mostly.
I know by now that it only takes a few unlucky bounces to tumble from the top tier inTua terrible tragedy.
Depth is key.
Hopefully the Dolphins are as deep as The Narrow Sea.
The Fins will repeat as the league’s top offense
Now we’re talkin’.
Miami went nuts in 2023, offensively. They averaged over 29 points and 400 yards per game. They put up 70 points on the Broncos. They were the most explosive looking team in my memory.
Statistics say that won’t sustain. But statistics are just numbers and numbers are boring and lame.
I see the Dolphins’ offense going berserk again weekly. Tua and his big ol’ contract will be hucking fat satchels of corn (I think that’s the expression) to Tyreek Hill and his big ol’ contract while Terron Armstead and his big ol’ contract stand in the way of the oncoming pass rush.
Feels like for all the big ol’ contracts, the offense has a financial obligation to remain the kings of trial by combat.
Tyreek Hill will break 2,000 yards receiving
And that’s not even my Big Bold Prediction.
Big Bold Prediction: Chop Robinson will have more sacks than Bradley Chubb
“Now wait a minute. Is this just some homer Penn State prediction?” — You, famed jerk
Yes.
However, I think there are two ways this can come to pass:
The first would be magnificently disappointing. In this scenario, Bradley Chubb’s injury lasts much further into the season than anticipated, his return is so late and gradual as to be a non-factor, and he ends the year wih 0 sacks while Chop Robinson takes the bulk of the season to get up to NFL speed, struggling mightily along the way, but manages to nab a single half sack, making the final tally Chop – .5, Chubb – 0.
That would ruin us all.
The second is what I think could be kind of feasible. If the praise Robinson is getting so far is warranted, he could have a rookie season akin to Jaelan Phillips, notching something like 8.5 sacks while Chubb, coming off a major injury, only has a slight downturn from his 2023 production (of 11 sacks) to the tune of 8.0. Chop – 8.5, Chubb 8.0 would be a situation I’d sign up for pretty quickly.
If all goes well, Chop and Chubb could be crashing into the backfield causing chaos like the Cleganes.
Night gathers and now our watch begins.
Do you agree with my prognostications? Do you think the Dolphins are better than I do? What, you think you’re better than me? Storm the Red Keep in the comments below.
